myken // thumbnails & character design

my progress so far on a first draft of what i expect will be several.  i've thumbnailed 24/34 pages as of 9/18... wanted to have the whole thing knocked out by sunday, but it wasn't in the cards!

food for thought on future revisions:
-- how to "mate" this story to Maddy & Anita's stories -- if not in the explicit use of sci-fi elements, then in the use of "fantastic" or "weird" visual metaphor, especially for the theme of fracture
-- variance of panel/page layout; exploring beyond traditional box grids while maintaining clarity
-- cultivating an informed visual style (for instance -- the use of "stock anime faces" may make sense in some contexts, but is not equivalent to a conscious language of character expression)
-- story arc, pacing, climax & resolution
-- in addition to the things above, i would appreciate eventual feedback on the integration of the internet as an identity-space into the story -- does it feel seamless? awkwardly interjected? intermittent?  i'm coming to see the thing that i will campily refer to as "digital subculture*" serving as a major agent of fracture in this story, opening gulfs between the protagonists and their role models, while also creating between the two girls a connected space of solidarity punctuated by silence, loneliness, and disconnection.

*"digital subculture" = encompassing the infinite feedback loop of pop culture, youth social networking, and japanese (read: foreign, media-based, reclaimed) trends that the protagonists inhabit

ok, enough thinky talk! here are character designs i did over the summer

Violet's head is shaved on one side... this is a dumb little detail but which do you guys prefer?

 
 thumbnail party.  ***BY THE WAY*** if you are gonna click on all of these, i strongly recommend "open in new tab"

for the rest of the story, you may refer to this script; keep in mind i'm dramatically re-imagining the visuals on a lot of it. thanks guys!!!

----------------------------------------  P25 ----------------------------------------
1 at the bar at bennigans; callie is seated between sarah & violet, eating a hamburger and
 visibly excited; she talks with her mouth full; violet is visibly drunk
 callie: “THIS BURGER’S OFF THE CHAIN!!!”
 violet: “yeah, live it up”
2 callie chews with her mouth closed; sarah remarks affectionately
 sarah: “wow, you’re really plowing through it”
3 sarah looks at violet with little amusement; violet is face-down
 sarah: “you… you’re pretty drunk”
 violet: “i pre-gamed”
4 callie looks nervously at violet
 sarah: “you pre-gamed for bennigans”
 violet: “go fuck yourself”
5 callie awkwardly excuses herself from the bar
 callie: “i have to pee or something”
----------------------------------------  P26 ----------------------------------------
1 bonnie is doing her homework at the kitchen counter
 bonnie’s mom: “i was thinking for girls’ night this week, we could try out that new tapas
 place in town”
2 bonnie and her mom in the car, both staring straight ahead; bonnie is wearing her
 headphones
 bonnie’s mom: “did you want to see that new movie, that animated one?”
 bonnie: “one of my friends said it was pretty good”
3 they sit outside at the restaurant; a person at the adjacent table has a small dog on a
 leash
 bonnie: “i hate it when people bring their dogs to restaurants”
 mom: “it’s so inconsiderate”
4 shot of them sitting in the movie theater, staring at the screen; bonnie’s mom eats popcorn
 bonnie’s mom: “that guy used to be such a good actor”
 bonnie: “i know”
5 they walk out of the theater building
 bonnie: “well, that sure was a movie”
 bonnie’s mom: “you didn’t like it?”
 bonnie: “no, i liked it”
6 back in the car; bonnie has the same blank expression she’s had for the whole night
 bonnie’s mom: “is everything ok?”
 bonnie: “everything’s fine”
7 bonnie’s mom: “this is going to sound stupid, but sometimes i feel like i hardly know
 you”
8 bonnie shrugs dismissively
 bonnie: “i guess that’s… okay???”
9 the car is silent; bonnie looks at her mom, her mom looks straight ahead
10 bonnie’s mom bows her head at the wheel and sobs
11 bonnie’s expression, completely unamused
----------------------------------------  P27 ----------------------------------------
1 shot of callie coming out of the bathroom; around the corner, violet and sarah are seated
 at the bar, their backs to the viewer
 violet: “he said if i left he’d drop out too, he loved me so much.  and we’d get married. 
 and fucking, i don’t know, start a revolution”
2 callie stops to listen
 violet: “i really like him.  mostly he’s the only person i believe in”
3 violet: “but still, sometimes…. when i get a text from him, or we’re in bed, or just sitting
 on the train together, i get this cold sober knowledge”
4 violet: “that love isn’t enough”
5 violet: “it isn’t bigger than all of this”
6 violet: “all of the things we do”
7 violet sobs
----------------------------------------  P28 ----------------------------------------
1 bonnie’s mom: “growing up, i never felt like my mom understood me”
2 bonnie’s mom: “she never said I… she never said it.  i couldn’t talk to her”
3 bonnie’s mom: “but i wanted to raise you differently.  that’s why say it all the time,
 because i never heard it, that’s why i say it” 
4 bonnie is confused
 bonnie: “say what…?”
5 mom smiles with a worried brow
 bonnie’s mom: “say I L… well, you know!”
----------------------------------------  P29 ----------------------------------------
1 callie is really upset; she sits on the floor with her arms around her knees
 sarah (offpanel): “come on.  you don’t want to be like this in front of callie”
2 callie takes her wallet out of her pocket
 violet (offpanel): “she doesn’t understand, she’s fucking fourteen!  she has no idea what’s
 going to happen to her, to everybody”
3 violet’s high school graduation photo is in the wallet
 violet (offpanel): “what the fuck could she possibly want from me?
 sarah (offpanel): “she looks up to you”
4 callie is crying unattractively, holding the photo
 violet (offpanel): yeah, well you’re alone in this shithole! nobody can help you!
5 zoom out; a pokerfaced waitress is standing next to callie
 waitress: “can i help you?”
 callie: “NO”
----------------------------------------  P30 ----------------------------------------
[this page is split down the middle into two vertical columns, one for bonnie and one for callie]
[bonnie column]
1 bonnie tweeting in the car
 bonnie’s mom (offpanel): “i’m so sorry. i’m so sorry. i’m so sorry”
2 bonbonbon: “here we go again, she wont apologize to me, she just apologizes to god for
 how i turned out”
3 bonbonbon: “like im sorry im not your perfect daughter anymore but what am i supposed
 to do!!!”
4 bonbonbon: “i don’t know what you need from me!!!”
[callie column]
1 callie tweeting in the restaurant
2 whipmykatana: “im so stupid”
3 whipmykatana: “at first i thought it was my fault she didn’t like me anymore… now i
 don’t know what to think”
4 whipmykatana: “i’m just sitting here tweeting about it like an idiot”
----------------------------------------  P31 ----------------------------------------
1 bonnie, with resolved expression, takes her mom’s sleeve
2 a large speech balloon joins panels 1 & 3; the speech balloon has no words, just broken glass effect 
3 in the opposite panel, callie stands next to violet
4 aerial shot of bonnie on her bed, lying on her side
5 shot of callie lying facedown on her bed
6 shot of bonnie texting, still lying down, holding her phone above her head
7 shot of callie on her laptop in the dark; her bored expression is visible in the screen’s glow
----------------------------------------  P32 ----------------------------------------
1 wide shot; bonnie’s bedroom, bonnie asleep, sun coming up; alarm going off
2 a clock showing 7:00 splits panels 1 & 3
3 wide shot; callie’s bedroom, callie asleep, sun coming up; alarm going off
4 bonnie in front of her mirror, wearing a lolita dress, makes an intense face
5 callie makes a cool face in front of her mirror; eyes narrowed, lip jutted; gunbuster pose
6 bonnie paints pink eye-black under her eyes with a makeup brush
7 callie laces her sneakers
8 bonnie pulls her lolita gloves on
9 callie puts on her headphones
----------------------------------------  P33 ----------------------------------------
1 callie & bonnie stand at the bustop, staring ahead; they look dazed; their expressions
 become more intense as they talk
 callie: “so, i read your text post last night”
 bonnie: “uh-huh”
2 callie: “you’re a really brave person”
 bonnie: “no i’m not.  i’m spoiled and selfish”
3 callie: “i’m a big stupid baby”
 bonnie: “you are not.  you’re mature and nice”
4 callie: “shut up”
 bonnie: “shut the fuck up”
----------------------------------------  P34 ----------------------------------------
1 callie looks at bonnie with interest; bonnie closes her eyes proudly
 callie: “so… you’re lolita at school now? is that a new thing?”
 bonnie: “it’s a special occasion”
2 bonnie has a determined expression
 bonnie: “today’s my birthday.  i’ve been born again.  born this way.  born -- born kawaii”
3 bonnie: “i’m fucking cute”
4 callie takes bonnie’s hand
5 they stand there hand-in-hand; both of their faces are contorted into gruff expressions
6 they drop the act and giggle at each other
7 then they resume the expressions
8 the bus pulls up, obscuring them; the bus’s stop sign says “FIN.”